dispatch from dallas: this is what happens when you run out of holy water

My cousin Allyson emailed me this morning:
Just know that last night the holy water my friend gave me that I didn't know what to do with finally evaporated, which was great because the little bottle sat on my counter all summer long and I was obsessed with checking it. But then this morning my car wouldn't start. Now, we have two cars and Matt's state truck (thank GOD) so I took the other, but there was no gas. I drove to the gas station, but the pump didn't work. I went to another pump and it worked, but bees were EVERYWHERE. So there I am pumping gas and trying not to get stung. I hit every light (of course) and then a Pepsi truck was sitting, not moving, and blocking traffic. Needless to say, I was late for work.

I wrote back:
So you'll be asking for more holy water?

And she responded:
Yes, and this time, I'm going to request a keg of it. (Is that sacrilegious?)

Me:
Only if you drink it with pretzels.